When Raazi Met Shaunna
Posted by TimCrockett in Friends on July 18th, 2009
My friends Raazi and Shaunna are getting married next week. I’m very happy for them as they are great people and deserve all the happiness this world has to offer.
Since I’ve known them both a long time, many people ask me “how did Raazi and Shaunna meet?”, assuming that they probably met on the internet or in some seedy hookah bar. Actually Shaunna was a leasing agent at the apartment complex that Raazi and I both lived at and they met when she leased him an apartment. I have created a video to show how that first meeting went down.
If you don’t know Raazi you probably don’t get the jokes, but I hope you liked the dancing.
Sonia Sotomayor is racist against white people
Posted by TimCrockett in Satire on July 18th, 2009
It’s true! Look at the facts.
- She rolls up the windows of her car and locks the doors whenever she drives by the Gap.
- When she was a teenager in the South Bronx, she didn’t invite a single white person to her quinceañera.
- She blames the “Jon and Kate Plus Eight” scandal on Kate despite the obvious evidence of Jon’s infidelity.
- She never set foot in the White House until Barack Obama became president. I think the White House was a little too white if you know what I’m saying.
- In Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner & Smith, Inc. v. Dabit (2005), she authored an opinion saying that the Securities Litigation Uniform Standards Act of 1998 did not preempt class action claims in state courts by stockbrokers alleging misleading inducement to buy or sell stocks. It doesn’t get any more racist than that.
- She claims to not be a fan of U2 or Bryan Adams, despite being a 55 year old American woman. She also is not supporting Bono as a candidate to replace her on the Second Circuit Court of Appeals despite his obvious overqualification.
- During her confirmation hearing she confused Senator Ben Nelson of Nebraska with Senator Bill Nelson of Florida. C’mon, Sonia. Do we all look alike to you?
- She’s gotten a divorce with 100% of the white people that she’s been married to. Meanwhile she’s never divorced a Hispanic or black person.
- On a related note, after her divorce she changed her name back from “Sonia Sotomayor de Noonan”. Who wouldn’t want “de Noonan” on their name? Someone who hates white people, that’s who.
- She made her decision in the New Haven Firefighters case by reasoning that white people should stick to jobs they’re good at - like accounting, or teaching yoga.
- She did not accept my friend request on Facebook. After I changed my picture and name to Clarence Thomas’s, she accepted right away.
- She doesn’t like Paris Hilton, for no good reason. I guess being rich and famous and popular isn’t OK if you’re white.
- She claims to be a feminist yet didn’t vote for the McCain/Palin ticket. If McCain wanted Sonia Sotomayor’s vote, he should have picked Condoleeza Rice.
- She prefers “Real Housewives of Atlanta” to “Real Housewives of Orange County”.
- She’s on the board of the Puerto Rican Legal Defense Fund but refused to serve on the board of the Anglo-American Legal Defense Fund.
- She turned down a white applicant who wanted to be her new bailiff because she said he “reminded her of the bailiff from Night Court”, yet the applicant was neither tall nor bald.
- She’s lived her whole life in New York City despite there being plenty of room in Utah.
- She referred to Dora the Explorer as a “race traitor”.
Oh, and the most damning of all:
- Back in 2001 she implied in a speech that maybe being Latina gives her a different perspective from white males.
The horror!